11 February 2016

Letter to the Gods from the Goddess of Landforms

Posted by larryohanlon

By Naomi Weissmann

Geia! Hello, mighty Gods and Goddesses,


Naomi’s Gi.

I am Gi, goddess of landforms, a minor goddess who wants more. I believe that I belong in the Pantheon (as your 13th goddess). I spend all of my time shaping, and otherwise forming the earth. I am endlessly patient and persistent: I will stay put, stubborn as a mule, until I am pleased with what I’ve done. The breathtaking canyon was my creation, and so was the lovely fjord, the balanced hoodoo and many other beautiful formations. I hope that from reading this letter you will be able to see how wonderful of a 13th goddess I would be.

Though it takes millions of years, wouldn’t you agree that my work is amazing? Every pebble or speck of dirt has been made by none other than myself. Every boulder or particle has been in some way manipulated by me. I shape the earth one detail at a time, and can be seen meditating by a canyon, pushing it deeper, or standing by mountain helping it grow taller.  I am even responsible for fissures under the sea! I have creations on all places of the earth’s crust, even in the most hard-to-reach places.  Cool, right?!

I am very, very patient, along with other traits that make me a great co-worker. I am as adaptable as a sand dune, mellow as a mountain, as deep as a canyon and as open-minded as a grassy plain. I can tell right from wrong as you would a chasm from a peak. I am original and stable, witty and wise, skillful and reliable. I help out people (humans, gods, satyrs and dryads alike) whenever I can. My personality is as intricate as an alluvial fan.

I created the canyon, the hoodoo, the fjord and the erg. I made the world famous Grand Canyon (in Arizona) when I saw a river running along dry, desolate desert ground. I realized I could make the landscape more beautiful by pushing the river down through the earth, and then painting the sides of the crevice I made with multicolored sand. So I did just that, and look what I made – a fantastic tourist attraction for the southwestern USA. Many of my other inventions have been created in a similar way to the Grand Canyon: I have inspiration, I find materials, then I complete my project right then and there. I love making detailed art with whatever materials I can find.

Now that I’ve told you all of the wonderful things about me, I hope you’ll accept me as the 13th goddess of the Pantheon. What I do makes people happy, and happy people are more likely to be happy for your existence. And happier humans means more support and sacrifices! You need me as much as the humans do!

Efcharistó, thank you!
Your friend, Gi

Naomi Weissmann is in the sixth grade at Bosque School in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Her letter to the gods was the result of an assignment in Leslie O’Hanlon’s English class to write a persuasive letter proposing a major new Greek god. Naomi’s father is AGU member Gary Weissmann, the Albert and Mary Jane Black Professor of Hydrology, Department of Earth & Planetary Sciences, University of New Mexico.