I’m cutting it close this time, I know – today is the deadline for Geosphere’s Accretionary Wedge call for posts on Geopoetry. One of my favorite books is a slim little volume called “A Geological Miscellany”. It’s a collection of geology-related letters, stories, poems and prose reaching back all the way to Pliny, and it has some hilarious excerpts. One of my favorites is a poem that’s attributed to the Pick and Hammer Club of the USGS…okay, actually a song…okay, actually a song set to a very ear-wormy tune from 1950 called ‘Music, Music, Music’.

 

High Magmafication

Drop another crystal in
To the mixture alkaline;
That’s the way that you begin
Granite, granite, granite.
When you get it good and hot,
Put some potash in the pot,
Stir it well until you’ve got
Granite, granite, granite.
Water, pour in some water –
Your recipe will really be in style,
If the water’s juvenile.
In the salts and bases throw,
In the pot they all must go;
When it’s finished out will flow
Granite, granite, granite.

Add a dash of CO2,
Not as limestone – that’s taboo!
Gee it’s fun to barbecue
Granite, granite, granite.
Now some quartz, but not too much,
Then some mica – just a touch;
Who has seen the likes of such
Granite, granite, granite?
Closer, my boy, look closer!
You see the textures clearly demonstrate
It hardens from the liquid state.
Stir it with a rod of glass
To homogenize the mass;
Even Nature can’t surpass
Our Granite, granite, granite.

If you read it straight through, it could definitely be poetic. If, however, you have the urge to sing it (it’s extremely amusing, just ask my officemates), here is the tune:

 

 

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.