May 30, 2011
A Memorial Day Rock: Marble
Posted by Evelyn Mervine
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| Marble headstones at Arlington National Cemetery. Photo taken from Wikipedia here. |
On Memorial Day I always remember the trips I’ve taken to Arlington National Cemetery in Arlington, VA. I still remember my first visit to the cemetery. I was seventeen and applying to the United States Naval Academy. I was down in Washington, DC for the Naval Academy’s Summer Seminar, an intense week that gives Naval Academy applicants a taste of what it’s like to be a Midshipman. After hours of early morning PT with Navy Seals, fitness tests, mini courses, and serious hazing, the visit to Arlington was relaxing in a way. However, seeing row upon row of white marble tombstones also made me wonder if I really wanted to attend the Naval Academy. Was I cut out for this? Was I going to be able to spend enough time doing the science I love so much? Most importantly, was I willing to sacrifice for my country? Make the ultimate sacrifice?
I was admitted– early action– to the Naval Academy, and I almost went there. Some days I regret my decision to attend Dartmouth rather than the Naval Academy, and I wonder how different my life would have been if had become a Midshipman. I would be stronger, I know. Tougher. Probably less self-centered and selfish. I tell myself that I turned down the Naval Academy because I wasn’t going to be able to do enough science as a Naval Officer, but I know that’s not a complete explanation. I know that I also turned down the Naval Academy because I was afraid. Afraid of war, of being mistreated as a woman, of a minimum eight year commitment, of not being able to follow an order I disagreed with, of fighting in a war I disagreed with, of danger, of violence, of death.
I may have turned down the opportunity to serve my country in the Navy, but I grew up in a military family. Many of my loved ones have served and still serve their country. My grandfather and father were both Naval Officers, and my cousin currently serves in the Air Force. Actually, the Mervine Family has a long history of military service, dating back to Rear Admiral William Mervine. There’s even a Fort Mervine out in California.
I was too afraid to serve and sacrifice for my country, but there are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people who were not afraid. Or maybe they were afraid, but they served– and sometimes died– anyway. Whenever I am down in the Washington, DC area, I try to make a point of visiting Arlington National Cemetery. Standing amongst thousands of matching marble headstones, I feel sadness, pain, and pride for all those who served and died for the United States of America. I may not agree with all of the wars in which these soldiers fought and died, but I still feel grateful for and humbled by the countless soldiers who sacrificed their lives. To all those soldiers– at Arlington and elsewhere– thank you. We remember you.
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| Christmas wreaths at Arlington National Cemetery, December 2005. Photo taken from Wikipedia here. |
Beautifully expressed. Thank you for the solemn words for our fallen.Chew20 years USN, CPO, retired.
Honestly, it is far less likely that you would have lost your life. You'd advance fairly rapidly in rank and most duties are not in harm's way.But, as an officer, you'd be leading service members. It would be possible that you would be leading a service member who WOULD die, either in the line of duty from accident, enemy action, dumb accident or even suicide.I was enlisted for over 27 years, always in combat arms units, it was the most challenging.Some of my men died, a few in accidents, some by direct enemy action.While, the commander, typically one with stars on their hat, write the letter home, our unit had a custom that their immediate superior, enlisted for the enlisted men, would also write a letter home, reviewed by the proper personnel for security reasons.To be honest, I'd rather get shot at than write that letter, as letters that I write would be worded the same if I and the person I'm writing to were face to face.I'd not EVER consider telling them of writhing pain experienced by their loved one. I'd not do that to the ENEMY!I'd not tell them that their loved one was considering a divorce or that the loved one confessed an affair or other indiscretion. There is no need to inflict further pain on top of the pain of loss.I'd tell them of stories that their loved one shared about them, how they were a great asset and friend to many or similar things. I'd even tell them if said person was thinking of them when the horrible occurred, if it was reasonably accurate.Honestly, I knew all of my men. I made it a point to know them, if I'm going to order them to do something dangerous, the least I can do is get to know them and even spell some for some down time, when I could.So, I COULD put personal observations and stories into the letter.But, it took me far, far, far longer to write that damned letter than it took to write a verbose report of contact or action. You would have to ALWAYS do that one. Not just for the men and women you KNEW, but for however many were under your command.There is no more unenviable task than that one.So, I consider you lucky that you will never be in that position.
Hello, I enjoyed your article. Rear Admiral Mervine is my first cousin, 6 times removed. I’m glad to meet another writer in the family!